Father Hen
As soon as Monday rolled around and I wasn't feeling my usual pre-period bloat, I knew. My body operates on a rather strict routine. As soon as it went off-script I was sure. Even though the early response test I'd taken a few days prior had been negative, I knew then it was wrong. Luke was, understandably, skeptical. This is understandable because this was not my first time being "sure." It was my first time being sure-sure, but how could he know that? Even so, he humored me by going out and getting a new test for me.
The line was incredibly faint. It was barely there, but it was there. I showed Luke and he could kind of see it, but he wasn't convinced. I waited. I drank some water. I took a second test. It was, of course, a faulty test. Nothing appeared in the control window. So there we were: I was freaking out and adamant that I was pregnant. Luke was the calm voice of reason who didn't say I wasn't pregnant (wise man is he), but also said, "Let's wait a few days before you take another test, okay?"
So, for about three or four painstaking days, we waited. I took the test, using the dip method to help eliminate any human error. Minutes later it was there, written clear as day: PREGNANT.
My life shifted in a blink.
One simple word changed everything for me. I had evolved.
I. Was. A. Mom.
Luke, on the other hand? He was much more more laid back. Happy and excited, sure, but he was clearly not experiencing my level of ecstasy. During a discussion of parenting and motherhood, he made the statement that it "probably wouldn't be real to him until the baby is here." If I'm being honest, that hurt. It was confusing. I didn't understand how this absolute miracle we were experiencing wasn't real to him. Then I thought about it.
Apparently, this is the norm for most guys. They don't get it right away because nothing changes for them, personally. The physical experience is the woman's alone. Luke didn't have to change what he was eating. He wasn't getting nausea. My body started doing All The Things and it made the mental experience stronger for me, deepening the attachment I already felt. So, while I was searching for a bump two days into this journey, Luke was continuing on business as usual.
Then came our first ultrasound.
I could tell Luke was amazed. As we left the facility, we spoke in reverent tones about the tiny human growing inside me. We’d gotten to see a little limb flutter. It was incredible. And then my husband told me our baby looked like a water bear. Yes, a water bear. I’m not sure if it was more troubling that he said it... or that he was not at all wrong.
After that, I could tell that Luke’s perspective started to change. Being able to visually see what I could already feel made it real to him. Our excitement grew and grew.
When Luke learned our little one was a little boy, he was over the moon for sure..... and now he’s a little father hen.
When I'm messing around and try to belly bump him or go to squish him, he looks at me like I've just committed a heinous crime. I've gotten many a firm reprimand that goes something like, "Stop, you're going to hurt him!" (I've tried to explain that my body is literally designed to protect our little guy, but he's not buying it.) After we learned that I had elevated levels and would need to take the second glucose test he was more concerned about my sugar than I was.
And don't even get me started on caffeine.
If you know Luke, you know exactly why that is both hilarious and hypocritical.
My loving, Coke-addicted, husband requires an itemized list of my total caffeine consumption.
Only then does he relent from giving me The Stare when I have one of my own.
It's funny how things turn around. In those early days, I was frustrated that he "didn't care." I was needlessly worried about his attachment to our little guy because now, sometimes, it's a little frustrating how much he cares and how protective he is. Mr. "it-won't-be-real-'til-he's-here" has become Mr. Father Hen. I love how much he cares for our little guy. He's stepped eagerly into his role of father, being both protector and care-giver. Our son is already so lucky to have this man for his daddy and I am so thankful to be doing this life with him.
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