Psalm 117 Selection B

For those who are not Geneva College graduates, the words (lyrics?) of Psalm 117 selection B are as follows:

Praise the LORD, all you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever.

Go on Geneva's campus and attempt to say those words and you'll find at minimum two passing students compelled to sing the words back to you with one inevitably saying "Go in his peace" when you're done. I've confused many of you with a Geneva College inside joke to drive home the point that I did not take this Psalm or its words seriously or in reverence. It was the song sung to end Chapel on Wednesday mornings. I sang it weekly for four years and the time that it finally hit me was not on a Wednesday, no, it was Saturday May 5, 2018--the day that I graduated college.

Tears had been far off, kept at bay by the promise of seeing my dear friends in the fall once more, this time for my wedding. With a reunion imminent, it hardly felt like goodbye. As the morning progressed, I considered how far I had come since stepping onto Geneva's campus for the first time as a student in August 2014, running late as usual. Tears crept closer.

You see, each Fall Semester, beginning with my very first one held some sort of misadventure. To start freshman year, I did not have half the supplies that I needed nor the funds to obtain them. I also carried with me a broken heart and a desperate soul seeking Jesus. My choice in Geneva was founded almost solely on one thing: a girl that I got to know over a missions trip went there and, at the time, I thought to be a Christian would look a lot like being Chelsea. [Author's Note: I would not recommend this as your criteria for picking a college, but I also would choose Geneva all over again so, y'know, the Lord works in all things.] I could talk forever about each of my school years, but let's wrap freshman year up with some prominent highlights: I made really great friends, I started dating my now fiance, I got cancer, and I made the Dean's List.

Wait, cancer? Okay, I'll spend a little more time on that one. Yes, if you're new to knowing me or just never had the nerve to ask, the scar on my neck (noted by children to resemble a germ or, my favorite, a hot dog with legs) is from a thyroidectomy. I had one of the rarest and particularly aggressive forms of thyroid cancer at age 18; I was fortunate to also have a very thorough primary care physician. Thank you, Dr. Scherer. I had surgery in December, made it home by Christmas Eve (a longer hospital stay than expected), and eventually had iodine radiation. I'll be on medication for the rest of my life, but honestly I'm not too concerned. Cancer was too big for me to even pretend to have a handle on so it was surprisingly easy to just give to God. As you'll learn, I try to resolve most things on my own. Okay, moving on.

I got engaged the summer before my sophomore year while on vacation with my then-boyfriend and his family. At the end of the week, I learned my grandma had cancer. Her mind started to deteriorate and truly I lost her before she was gone. My now-fiance and emotional rock got sick with mono and had to withdraw for the semester. I cried a lot. My grandma died. I cried even more. It was hard. It was so hard. Even now writing about it, I get emotional. Gram was everything to me and then she was gone. I knew then how much I had grown already because there was a time when that would have ended me. But I stood. I fought. I made Dean's List that semester and the semester after that.

Two summers in a row I stayed with my fiance and his family. It was a hard choice. Being away from my family is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. There aren't words for how necessary it was for my spiritual growth however. I went where I needed to be. I can't remember the life crises of junior and senior year because, honestly, there were a lot. Think "people-nearly-dying-crazy-accusations-health-issues-roommate struggles-depression-anxiety and you've got a summation of junior and senior year. There was a period of two weeks in the spring of my senior year where I was so stressed out that I was chronically fatigued, culminating in a night where I didn't sleep at all. It was crazy.

But there I stood on Saturday May 5 with my best friend from freshman year on one side and a new, but very dear, friend on the other. Unfortunately, due to the missed semester, Luke was not in the crowd of students with me, but he was in the stands. My family could not be there that morning, but his parents were. That morning I turned to Nathanael and I said "I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to belt this one [Psalm 117B] out as it's my last time." I made it two words and began to sob.

I'm a child of a broken home who graduated Summa Cum Laude from a four year institution. After thinking my heart would never heal, I was gifted a fiance who loves me, respects me, and encourages me to grow. I now have friends, lifelong friends, who will laugh and cry with me. My family has grown to include five more nieces and nephews. I have become someone who is confident in who she is and (for the most part) trusts the Lord in where she is going.

There have been many lows in my life, going even further back than freshman year but they have brought me to where I am today. That is why I sobbed because that morning, I heard the words of Psalm 117, truly heard them and their truth resonated within me. So, yes, I will now with meaning praise the Lord and exalt his name because great is his love for me and his mercy indeed endures forever. I have learned this truth at his feet and I am grateful for these fours years in which he has grown me and I look ahead to the years he will continue to grow me.

Blessings,

Shaniah